Don’t freak out when YOU become the family expert

 Reeves Point of View, ‘STILL GROWING UP’, Part 47:  Don’t freak out when YOU become the family expert

Get ready.  Brace for it.  At some point in your life, YOU will become the family expert.  

And when I say FAMILY, I’m not talking just blood family.  I’m talking family, friends, associates, casual colleagues, fraternity brother, or sorority sister.   At some point in your life, YOU will become that expert.

For me, it happened when I was 32.  No one told me it would happen.  I wasn’t even prepared for it to happen.  It just happened.

I had graduated from law school.  I had only been practicing law for a few months.  And then the calls began.  They didn’t flood me all at once.  But they came a little at a time.  One question here.  One question there.   And almost ALL of them were outside of the area I was currently practicing.   

Don’t get me wrong.  I didn’t have a problem trying to help.  But I spent 3 years being taught the importance of being a ‘legal expert’ and the responsibility of practicing law from an ethical standpoint. So, I treated each question with a huge amount of importance.

Early on, though, these questions were TERRIFYING! What if I gave the wrong answer?  What if I made situation worse?   What if I cause the person to do something they shouldn’t have done?   You would be AMAZED how well I learned the art of the Disclaimer:

“I don’t practice this area of law.  You should speak to an attorney in your area.  I am giving legal information.  I don’t know all of the facts so I can’t speak to all of the little things.  AGAIN, speak to an attorney who does this type of law for a living.”

I said this phrase so many times that loved ones damn near repeated it BACK to me before I said it, “Yea, Yea, this is not your area of law. You don’t practice in this jurisdiction. I get it. Blah, blah, blah”.

The hard reality is that it’s not so much the questions being asked.  It’s the people who are asking.  It’s one thing to give feedback to unknown people you have never met and will never interact.  The tough thing is that you are talking to people who know you, who trust you and who value you your insight.  For me, that reality was terrifying because these were one group of people I did not want to disappoint.   They knew me when I was wearing cut off sweats, walking on the back of my tennis shoes, and eating reese’s peanut butter cups for lunch.   

After a while, I realized in the end, it was all about their trust.  They trusted me and I had to trust my ability to give them the same level of insight I would a complete a stranger.   

At some point, you are GOING to be the family expert and the people you once look up to (and still look up to) will being looking up to you.   Don’t freak out over it.  Just embrace the fact that they are so glad to have an expert in you and their trust in you should let you know you have arrived as an expert.