There is no HIS story unless you tell HER story, part II. The Marine Sergeant Major (a.k.a. I swear I didn’t know)

Ok, let’s set the record straight.  

I DIDN’T KNOW!

There, I said it. I meant it. I stick by it!

In 1997, one of my fraternity brothers, who also was a fellow military officer and Marine, introduced me to this young lady (Carroll).   Things were a little bumpy at first (thanks to me, of course) but after a date or two, things started moving.

In the course of our early conversations, this Carroll told me of a few unpleasant experiences with some of her earlier suitors.    So, I was very careful to not make the same mistake.

At the time, Carroll was staying with her aunt.   Carroll was very vocal about how much she looked up to her aunts (her mom’s sisters) and had particular fondness for the aunt she was staying.   

So one day, I called and her aunt answered the phone.  She informed me that Carroll was not there.   So, in an effort to impress her aunt, I decided to ‘shine’ a bit:

ME:  Well, this Lieutenant Junior Grade Anthony Reeves, and let her know I called.

AUNT:  Well, this is SERGEANT MAJOR Burnadette Howard retired and when she gets home, I’ll tell her.

Now, what her aunt didn’t know was the time I spent getting the pieces of my cracked face off the ground. 

Sergeant Major?? Marine Corps?  REALLY?  And of course, Carroll goes on to tell me that she was the second African American woman to become a Sergeant Major in the Marine Corps and the first to become a Camp Sergeant Major (Camp Fuji).

So, wait?  She’s a history maker, too?  Isn’t that something I should have been told?

My wife, TO THIS DAY, swears I should have known.  We were in a Marine Corps town.  Most of my frat brothers were Marines.  Most of the Officers I ran with were Marines.   Even the frat brother who introduced me knew.  Sergeant Major was very well known.  In her words, “How could I NOT know?”

Very Easy!

I DID NOT KNOW!!

So, for the next 6 years, despite her best efforts, I refused to NOT call her by her birth name.

Even when she took care of me after major surgery?  NOPE!

Even when she helped pack your car when you left for law school? NOPE

Even when she helped move items out of storage for Carroll?  NOPE

I finally agreed to call her by her birth name when she helped us after a tight spot during our wedding in 2003.

And ever since then, she has still provided supports.   She has helped me address Human Resource issues.  She came to our home during a health crisis for a week.   She let me drive her Jamming rides (that’s always a good thing).

What’s funny is all of my friends (Outside of the military) still call her Sergeant Major when they ask me about her.

I don’t know why I keep having so many experiences with women who are “FORCES OF NATURE” but I’m just glad I am on the right side of the force.