The Pay Phone and the First Year College Student

The fall of 1987 was a magical time for my mom.

The single mother of the young man she raised in Pine Bluff, Arkansas was about to take the next big step in his journey through life.  He had been accepted into the college of his choice.  He would be leaving to travel roughly 900 miles away.   She would place all of his belongings in a large foot locker.  She would drive him to the Little Rock Regional Airport.  She would stand at the gate and watch as her baby would board a plane and proceed to fly over the horizon.  A tear would roll down her face as a silent voice inside would say “Job well done”.


That was the magical moment.


And then, I MESSED IT ALL UP! Lol.


A week before I was due to leave for college, I asked my mother if I could ride with one of my high school friends to Tampa in his old pick up truck.  


Yep.  I went from 4 hour to a 15 hour ride.   Just like that.


And, to my surprise, she said yes.  It helped that she knew my friend (he and I grew up together and my mother taught his younger sister).  


But what I didn’t appreciate was that she was letting me blossom into an adult.   


And, boy, did I blossom in every which way.


We had never driven to Florida before so we got lost in a few spots.   At one point, we slept in a rest area.  When we made it to Florida (Pensacola), we were amazed by the beautiful waters of the Gulf of Mexico.   And so we decided we had to go swimming.  We learned two valuable lessons that day.  One, empty your pockets before you go into a large body of water (yep, we lost our licenses).  Two, any time you are swimming in salt water, don’t open your eyes.


And the experiences didn’t stop when I got to college.   I had roommate issues my first year.  I went to Orlando for a military commitment and missed my ride back to Tampa so I ended up walking back (about 80 miles).  I had to learn how to strategically wash clothes with no money (i.e. washing your underwear in the sink).  During spring break, my friends and I broke down 4 hours away from college and had to sleep in a truck stop.


However, the experiences weren’t all bad.  I ended up befriending a guy who would go on to become one of my best friends.   I participated in my first talent show.   At the end of my first year, I traveled to NYC for 3 weeks.   


But during that first year of college, there was one constant I could rely on: The Pay Phone.


Remember, this was 1987.  There were no cell phones. No smart phones.  No FaceTime, Skype or Zoom.   There were no e-mails, text messages or Apps.   There were no calling cards.   For a young student, the only connection I had was a pay phone on my dorm floor.  


I don’t know how many times I called but I found out later from my mom that in one month the phone bill was approximately $900 (i.e. Collect calls were a BEAST!).  I still remember her saying to me “If I can’t do anything for you while you are in college, I will, at least, make sure I am accessible.”


Becoming an adult is an exciting and stressful journey.  And when you are fresh out of your parent’s home, you want to prove to everyone and yourself that you can fly on your own.  However, there is nothing more powerful than having access to the person who has nurtured, supported and cared for you your whole life.   



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