Skip to main content

The Pay Phone and the First Year College Student

The fall of 1987 was a magical time for my mom.

The single mother of the young man she raised in Pine Bluff, Arkansas was about to take the next big step in his journey through life.  He had been accepted into the college of his choice.  He would be leaving to travel roughly 900 miles away.   She would place all of his belongings in a large foot locker.  She would drive him to the Little Rock Regional Airport.  She would stand at the gate and watch as her baby would board a plane and proceed to fly over the horizon.  A tear would roll down her face as a silent voice inside would say “Job well done”.


That was the magical moment.


And then, I MESSED IT ALL UP! Lol.


A week before I was due to leave for college, I asked my mother if I could ride with one of my high school friends to Tampa in his old pick up truck.  


Yep.  I went from 4 hour to a 15 hour ride.   Just like that.


And, to my surprise, she said yes.  It helped that she knew my friend (he and I grew up together and my mother taught his younger sister).  


But what I didn’t appreciate was that she was letting me blossom into an adult.   


And, boy, did I blossom in every which way.


We had never driven to Florida before so we got lost in a few spots.   At one point, we slept in a rest area.  When we made it to Florida (Pensacola), we were amazed by the beautiful waters of the Gulf of Mexico.   And so we decided we had to go swimming.  We learned two valuable lessons that day.  One, empty your pockets before you go into a large body of water (yep, we lost our licenses).  Two, any time you are swimming in salt water, don’t open your eyes.


And the experiences didn’t stop when I got to college.   I had roommate issues my first year.  I went to Orlando for a military commitment and missed my ride back to Tampa so I ended up walking back (about 80 miles).  I had to learn how to strategically wash clothes with no money (i.e. washing your underwear in the sink).  During spring break, my friends and I broke down 4 hours away from college and had to sleep in a truck stop.


However, the experiences weren’t all bad.  I ended up befriending a guy who would go on to become one of my best friends.   I participated in my first talent show.   At the end of my first year, I traveled to NYC for 3 weeks.   


But during that first year of college, there was one constant I could rely on: The Pay Phone.


Remember, this was 1987.  There were no cell phones. No smart phones.  No FaceTime, Skype or Zoom.   There were no e-mails, text messages or Apps.   There were no calling cards.   For a young student, the only connection I had was a pay phone on my dorm floor.  


I don’t know how many times I called but I found out later from my mom that in one month the phone bill was approximately $900 (i.e. Collect calls were a BEAST!).  I still remember her saying to me “If I can’t do anything for you while you are in college, I will, at least, make sure I am accessible.”


Becoming an adult is an exciting and stressful journey.  And when you are fresh out of your parent’s home, you want to prove to everyone and yourself that you can fly on your own.  However, there is nothing more powerful than having access to the person who has nurtured, supported and cared for you your whole life.   



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why I’m Not Trying to Make New Friends After 40 (And Why That’s Okay)

Intro: We’ve all heard someone say, “I’m not trying to make new friends.” On the surface, it can sound antisocial or dismissive. But if you’re in your 40s or beyond, that phrase starts to carry a whole new weight. It’s not about shutting people out—it’s about recognizing the power of relationships that have been built over decades. Listen to the Full Podcast Below:  Listen to "Friends After 40: Why Your Circle Shrinks But Grows Deep" on Spreaker. Friends from the Beginning of Adulthood Friendships you start in your teens or early 20s come with a different energy. These are the people who were there during your first job, first apartment, first heartbreak, first real success. They were becoming adults alongside you. By the time you reach 40, something strange and powerful happens: You’ve now known those friends longer than you haven’t. That changes everything. Why Foundational Friendships Hit Different at 40+ Friendships at this stage aren’t casual. They’ve survive...

The Danger wasn’t always clear: Navigating Racism as Black Generation X

On July 16, 2025, I posted a video short titled “Black Generation X: The Danger Wasn’t Always Clear.” That post came from a deeply personal place. Growing up as part of Generation X meant stepping into environments where the rules around race and safety weren’t always obvious. When I was younger, my family shielded me from the harshest realities. I lived in communities where I was nurtured and protected. I was also part of the first wave of kids who went from kindergarten through high school entirely in desegregated schools. In that space, I don’t recall any overt instances of racism or bigotry. And while that was a blessing, it also left me unprepared—because I didn’t know what danger looked like when it wasn’t wearing a hood or shouting slurs. Once I left home, the uncertainty began. The Barber Who “Couldn’t” \When I arrived at the University of Tampa in the fall of 1987, I needed a haircut before starting ROTC training. I had just completed Army training that summer, so I was ...

Week in Review: Black Gen X in the Shadows and the Spotlight

  Week in Review: Black Gen X in the Shadows and the Spotlight IN THE KNOW with Tony Reeves This past week, I dedicated my daily Shorts to the voices, struggles, and overlooked truths of Black Generation X. We were the first generation to grow up after the Civil Rights Act, but we still faced the burden of racism, stereotypes, and cultural tension. Sometimes, the world said the danger was gone—but we could still feel it. Here’s what this week looked like: 📆 July 11 – When a White Student Said I Was Segregating Myself Reflecting on the tension between integration and identity. 📆 July 12 – No Signs. No Warnings. Just the Same Old Danger A powerful look at the hidden threats Black Gen X still faced. 📆 July 13 – Gen X: Bridging Analog to Digital A generation of transformation—before tech ruled the world. 📆 July 14 – Raised by the Past How the warnings of our parents shaped how we saw the world. 📆 July 15 – Are We Repeating History? Hard questions from a generati...