When I was told going to an HBCU was not the real world

 “It’s a good thing you didn’t go to a Black College because that’s not the real world.”

I remember that statement.  33 years after hearing it.  It still leaves a mark.  I was 18 years old when I heard it.  I didn’t know how to process what was being said but even as an adult, it still left a lasting impact.

The year was 1987.  I was on my dorm room floor talking to other students.  I was attending a small private university where the school was 95% white.  I was the only person of color on my dorm room floor.   

When you’re trying to get to know your fellow college students, it is not uncommon for students to discuss what brought them to the college and what other universities did they consider. 

During my conversation with one white young lady, she asked me what schools I had considered.   I mentioned the schools (and the majority of them were Historically Black Colleges and Universities or HBCUs).  After I said this, she responded with the statement:

“It’s a good thing you didn’t go to a Black College because that’s not the real world.”

At the time, I didn’t respond.  I didn’t know HOW to respond.  I didn’t know what she meant.  I didn’t think to ask.  I was just speechless.   Did she mean the collegiate experience is not the same at an HBCU? Did she mean an HBCU couldn’t prepare me for life after college?  Did she mean an HBCU environment is not the same as a ‘real world’ environment?  And what the hell is the ‘real world’?  

As an adult looking back, my world was my world.   My dad attended an HBCU.  My mother graduated from an HBCU.  Both of my Grandmothers graduated from HBCUs.  Two of my uncles graduated and received doctorates from HBCUs.   Of my 5 immediate cousins I grew up with, I was the ONLY one who didn’t attend an HBCU.  In my world, I was the anomaly.

And what ‘world’ are we talking about?  I don’t want to speculate as to what world she was referring to but considering she specifically identified HBCUs, I can make an educated case.  However, what if I wanted to work in India, South America, China, Japan, or Africa?  Aren’t those countries part of the real world? 

Again, back then, I didn’t know how to respond.  I lumped statements like that into the same phrases as “You’re very articulate” or “we’re not talking about you. You’re different.”  A statement that the speaker THINKS is being helpful but never truly appreciating how insulting it is.   I don’t know what happened to her and I can only hope that with time she has evolved as I have.   

I will say that I have learned that our world has different variations of realness.  So I sincerely hope that she learned that implying your view of the world as being the only view of the world holds her back more than she realizes.