Fighting the feeling of being a misfit in my organization (God bless my Alpha Phi Alpha brothers)

Consider me the Goofy kid in the fraternity.

I always knew I wanted to be in Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. Considering that some of the people I looked up to which included two of my favorite uncles and a mentor at my church who are all members of the same fraternity, I was groomed at a fairly young age.

However, the harsh reality is that I never viewed myself as being a fraternity guy. I have no sense of style. I had coke bottle glasses. My social skills SUCKED. Even in my own circle of friends, I still felt a little out of place.

So imagine my excitement when I was accepted to be a pledge in the spring of 1989 to Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc.

But even after being accepted as a pledge, going through the pledge process, and being initiated into the fraternity, I still felt out of place. Some of it had to do with the fact that I was a student from another university so, unlike my fraternity brothers who were all on the same campus, I was at another school. But the hard reality is that whenever I was around them I still didn’t feel like I fit. They were always supportive, they were always nice and they were always there for me but I really wondered how they decided to let me become a member because I just did not feel like that I fit in as a ‘fraternity brother’.

However, over time, I realized something. They didn’t initiate me in order for me to become like them. They initiated me for who I am. And they didn’t ask me to be any less goofy or any less loud or any less awkward.

And even the three guys who were initiated with me always ensured that I was a part of any and all endeavors. And I had no idea that they would all serve significant parts of my life experience. One of them would always be there to support regardless. Another one was responsible for not only encouraging me to start my own business but actually supported me financially on occasion when times got tight. Another one would provide financial guidance and be a force for encouraging me to go to law school.

I can tell you after 30 years of being a member of my fraternity, I’m still goofy, loud and awkward. But the best part is the reality that my fraternity brothers accepted all of me and everything that comes with me being me and that became the most important thing to me.

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