Be careful about assumptions

Me working for the state of Florida in 1994

The danger of ‘assumptions’ is those assumptions may result in assuming realities which do not exist.   

In 1995, I was a 25 year old state worker who had been working for the state for almost 3 years.  It was my first job out of college and there were a few times during my time at this job that I was not always the happiest employee.  

In 1994, I gained a co-worker (for privacy purposes, I will call him ‘John’) who was an older gentleman.   John had worked in the private sector in Human Resources and he immediately took me under his wing.  We worked on different projects.  John gave me suggestions about making presentations.  I truly felt I was learning a lot under his tutelage and I was excited about working for the state.

A few months after John was hired, a young man (for privacy purposes, I will call him ‘Will’) was hired and he also received guidance from John.  Will was a few years younger than me, and like me, this was his first job out of college.

So, for a period of time, John was guiding two young men, Will and I.

At some point in 1995, John was afforded the opportunity to return to the private sector.  In addition, he was given the opportunity to bring someone with him.   He decided to bring Will.

At the time, I was astonished he decided to take Will.   In my mind, I had worked with John the longest.  I had worked in my field longer.  I was almost done with my degree which was in the same field.   In my mind, I was the logical choice. 

John gave me his reasons for choosing Will over me.  However, in retrospect, the reasons he gave me were irrelevant.  In my mind, I had assumed John was loyal to me.  We had worked together the longest.  In my mind, I had assumed I had more to offer.   

But, in the grander scheme of themes, none of that mattered.

John had no obligation to me.   The opportunity to return to the private sector was offered to him.  The opportunity to bring someone along with him was offered to him.  The decision to choose who he would bring was given to him.  He was under no obligation to choose me.  He was under no obligation to bring me.  It did not matter if he liked me or not.  The reality was John owed me nothing.   

I was hurt.  Here is someone I admired, respected and looked up to.  So, I assumed this person would naturally look after my well being if presented with a situation to do so.  

However, I learned a powerful lesson that day about “making assumptions”.  

The reality is that I had assumed John would take certain actions relating to our relationship that he did not.  John did not do anything wrong. I had created a situation that resulted in me feeling like I was wronged.

The most powerful thing about assumptions is that you may end up creating a situation which may result in putting yourself in a potentially bad professional or personal situation.

Be careful not to do the same.