How many of us have heard the old phrase, this is what I would tell my younger self?
Whenever I hear people say “If I could tell my younger self what I know now”, my thought is that there are so many versions of my younger self I couldn’t just focus on one message that would cover the entire Period.
So in keeping with the spirit of these recent graduations, I’m gonna take the opportunity to share with you the life advice I would give to the four different younger graduate versions of myself: My 18 year old High School Grad self, my 21 year old undergrad self, my 25 year old graduate school self, and my 31 year old law school grad self.
To my 18 year old high school graduate self, I will tell you to take a look to your left and right and all around you because there’s a very good chance that you will never see these people again. And that’s OK. You’ve just spent the last 12 years in a very controlled environment with affectively the same group of people. And although you’ve had some wonderful experiences, you don’t have a clue about the great things that are about to happen. You are about to be launched into an area where you are going to be meeting all kind of people from places you have never heard of, with experiences you have never known about, and things you have never seen. And these new people you meet are going to be moved by their experiences with you. And you are going to make a lot of mistakes. Oh boy you’re gonna make a lot of mistakes but you know what? This is the time to make them. You’re going to be put in so many unfamiliar situations and you are gonna make so many dumb moves but each one of those moves is going to build on the version of you. And you are going to change your mind about things a lot. When you left high school you thought that you knew exactly what you wanted to do and then about a year afterwards you realize you want to do something else and then a year after that you want to do something else. And there is nothing wrong with changing your mind because guess what? You are experiencing so many things that are new and so many places you have never been and so many people you have never interacted so you are trying to figure out what you love and what loves you and sometimes that requires you to change your mind.
To my 21-year-old undergrad self, I tell you congratulations but I also tell you that it is OK if this is not where you thought you would start. You were only 18 when you just came in to college and at that time you thought you knew what you were doing. But over the last few years you have met some dynamite people who have exposed you to different things. You have done all kind of different things and taking different classes and had all kind of wild experiences and now you are worried that maybe you made a mistake because today you are now in in a much different place. I am going to tell you that you are right where you are supposed to be. And now you get to go out in the world and put these things into application. I will tell you that the circle of people you were involved with will probably get a little smaller because now that you are out of college you probably only have a core group of people that you deal with and you were all going to deal with it at the same time. In addition, here is a few other things that is going to happen. A lot of your friends are going to get married and you are going to be in a lot of weddings. Some of your friends are going to have kids. You are going to hit that mode where a lot of your friends who had dreams of doing things with you are going to take a backseat to their own lives. Do not feel like your dreams have to disappear because their lives have changed because guess what? Your life has changed as well. Embrace every wild impulse to do something different, new, or out-of-the-box because this is the time to truly explore all those things that you wanted to try. And do not ever think that your dreams are tied to anyone person. these dreams are yours.
To my 25-year-old graduate school self, now that you have your masters degree, if you are truly trying to elevate your game, you are going to have to do that on your own. The degree is great and you should be proud of your accomplishment but the degree does not open any doors for you unless you choose to find the door to knock on. And do not be surprised if you get opportunities they come in ways you never expected. And do not allow yourself to believe this degree defines you in terms of what you are and what you want to do. Now that you have a masters degree now is the time for you to master another part of your life. You are going to probably start to feel like you are growing away from some of your friends that you still have from high school and even more so from your friends from college. You are going to start noticing that the time that you spend with them is not as frequent as you used to. You are going to get some wild opportunities and these opportunities are probably remove you from your old friends and force you into new environments to make new friends and new relationships. And that is OK. A masters degree is just an affirmation that you are in charge of mastering your fate and the only way you can do that is to take a hard look at the decisions that you made and start making more aggressive decisions about what kind of life you want and what are you willing to do to make that life a reality.
To my 31-year-old law school graduate self, so you graduated from law school. That is great but you do realize that your degree does not define you. Once you take the bar if you choose to do so, and you become an attorney, you will probably see yourself as an attorney and there will always be people who will see you as an attorney. But you are so much more than that. If you have already decided that you do not want to go back to school anymore, that is great because you have already achieved nine years worth of education under your belt. Now is the time that you should say to yourself that I want to explore every version of me and what it has to offer. Your law degree does not define you. Just like becoming an attorney, or a judge, or a partner, or a professor, is not the only measures of your success. You are heading into a part of your life where you are going to impact and influence so many people. You may not realize it but you are creating a brand for yourself that will stand apart. Yes there will be people who will remember you from graduate school. Yes there will be people who remember you from undergrad. Yes they will be people who remember you from high school. But the people who see you now will be so amazed that you got to where you are that they are amazed the other versions of you even existed. They are amazed because the version that they are seeing now is so spectacular and it is important that you recognize that the version of you now is spectacular. You are going to start to wonder if you wasted your time doing all these other things because you are going to get so many opportunities. These opportunities are coming from the different skills that you acquired from high school, undergrad, grad school and law school. You are going to now find yourself being given the opportunity to do so many things outside of your chosen profession, you are going to start to doubt whether or not you actually made the right decisions early on. You are going to start saying to yourself, man if I knew this is what I was going to do, I wish I could have done this sooner. But the reality is is that you are learning a very valuable lesson. Anything you are doing you are doing right when you are supposed to be doing it. You are doing it right when you are able to capitalize on the skills that you have acquired and the passions you have displayed. You are truly going to do so many more magnificent things that you don’t even realize you are going to do that your brain is not prepared to accept what that reality may be.
To all four versions of myself, I want you to understand a few things. You are going to make some mistakes. You are going to second-guess your decisions. You are going to question how you had done the things that you did and whether or not you may have made the right decision. You are going to ask yourself questions while you are doing some things. You are going to have doubts. You are going to have downfalls. You are going to have moments where you truly believe that you made some of the worst mistakes any person could humanly make. You are going to believe in your heart that you have wasted time and wished you could have done things differently. But I need you to understand that every version of you is the right version, at the right time, doing the right thing. I tell you all to not drag any mistakes, regrets, or decisions you believe you made with you into the future. I tell you not to let anyone try to anchor you or allow yourself to be weighted down by any feelings of self-doubt and insecurity. I tell you to welcome every challenge that comes your way. I tell you to dust off any doubters who may try to discourage you. I tell you to accept every challenge that you believe is bigger than you because the reality is you are bigger than any challenge you face.
I share this advice with you hoping that you are open to the possibility that you have the ability to make so many great things happen. And more importantly there are so many great things waiting for you and I do not want you to pass up on any opportunity to live the life you want, to take the path you believe you are meant to walk, and enjoy everything that comes along with it. The next years of your life are going to be filled with an endless supply of unexpected moments of growth opportunities. You have been preparing for these things your entire life. So let us go forth and go out and enjoy life and everything that comes along with it.
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