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My Mother’s Day Military Moment

 “Whatever decision you make, make sure it is the RIGHT one and not the SAFE ONE”.

25 years later and I still remember these words.   And they still resonate to this day.  


I was at a cross roads.  I had always wanted to be an officer in the military.   And in 1998, I was living one of my dreams as a naval officer.  I had been stationed at Camp Lejeune, NC since 1995 and it was my very first tour.  I had an active social life.  I was renting a town home on the beach.  I was dating (and eventually married) a beautiful woman.   I was rolling. 

And then, things got better.  I got orders for my next duty station aboard the USS John F. Kennedy.  As a young officer in my career field (Industrial Hygiene Officer), this was the dream assignment.   I was going to be assigned to my favorite state (Florida) and I was so excited.   

However, during this time, I was exploring my options.  I was trying to determine if I could qualify for a very selective Naval Judge Advocate General program (JAG).   The Navy had a program that would pay for select officers to go to Law School and they would have to give a certain amount of years to the Navy.  All I had to do was get accepted into law school, apply for the Navy JAG program, and then cross my fingers.   Fortunately, I got into law school.  I applied as soon as I could.  Unfortunately, I did not get into the JAG program.

The crazy part about this was that while I was trying to get into the JAG program, I got orders to the USS John F. Kennedy.

So here I am.  I got admitted to law school (Florida State University; North Carolina Central) AND I got order to a great assignment.

Unfortunately, I did not know what to do.  In order to go to law school, I would have to resign my commission, leave the military and go to school as a struggling college student.   In order to the USS John F. Kennedy, I would have to put law school on hold for 3 years and then hope that I would still be interested to attend law school afterwards. 

So with this dilemma in mind, I called my mom.  I explained to her my options and asked what I should do?

In true MOM fashion, she said “I don’t know what you should or should not do but I do know this.  Whatever decision you make, make sure it is the RIGHT decision and not the SAFE one”.

And with those few words, I was able to make my decision.  I knew that I wanted to get my doctorate and the fact that I not only got admitted into law school but I got into THE school I wanted to attend affirmed that going to law school was the RIGHT school.


So, shortly after speaking with my mom, I then notified the Navy that I would be resigning my commission.   It truly freaked me out to make that decision.  I had settled in to being a Naval Officer.  I had not been a struggling college students for awhile.   But here I am, now faced with the reality of starting over.

The last day at my duty station (August 1998) was exciting and terrifying.   I had to take the Department of Defense sticker off of my car.  I had to load my car with my belongings.   I was now heading off to a new phase of my life with no idea of whether it would work out.  Each day in law school was a terrifying moment of self doubt about whether I made the RIGHT decision.

However, almost 3 years after resigning my commission, I was walking across the stage (May 2001) to get my Juris Doctorate (J.D.).   My girlfriend was still with me.   I had gotten my degree.  And my mom was there to reassure me that I had made the RIGHT decision.









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