Are You Truly an Ally? Reflections from a Childhood Experience

I’ve shared this story before, but it feels more relevant than ever as people grapple with what it

means to be an ally. Many consider themselves allies in the struggle for racial equality. Yet, as a Black man who grew up in the rural South, I’ve learned that being an ally requires more than just avoiding harmful words or actions—it means actively standing up against injustice.

One experience from my childhood remains a powerful example of allyship. I was about 8 years old, playing with several friends at another child’s house. I was the only Black kid there, and we were having a great time on his trampoline. The only adult around was his grandfather, who suddenly instructed his grandson to tell me to get off the trampoline. Then, he insisted I leave the yard altogether. Confused but respectful, I left without knowing why I was singled out.

On my way home, one of my friend’s mothers, whom I’ll call “Mrs. Smith,” noticed me walking alone and asked why. After I explained what had happened, she took my hand, marched back to the boy’s house, and gathered all the kids, instructing them to play in her yard instead. Later, the boy’s mother came over, embarrassed, to apologize. Mrs. Smith calmly made it clear: if I wasn’t welcome in that backyard, none of the other kids needed to be there either.

This happened over 50 years ago, but it remains a vivid memory because of Mrs. Smith’s actions. She didn’t just silently disapprove of what had happened; she took a stand. She ensured I felt included and sent a powerful message to everyone: prejudice was unacceptable.

Today, I often see people who call themselves allies but stay silent in the face of hurtful behavior. Some think that simply avoiding offensive language makes them supportive. Yet being an ally means taking action, even if it’s uncomfortable, even if it comes with risks. Mrs. Smith’s choice to stand up for me could have put her and her family at odds with others in our deeply segregated town, but she was more concerned with protecting me from harm.

So, to those who consider themselves allies: are you willing to actively step in when someone is harmed by prejudice, or do you just silently disapprove? True allyship isn’t passive—it requires courage, compassion, and a willingness to take a stand.

Hashtags: #TrueAllyship #StandUp #Reflection #ChildhoodLessons #RacialEquality #TakeAction