Finding My People: How Community Changed My College Experience at a PWI

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A simple act of kindness led me to an unexpected community at the University of Tampa. Reflecting on friendship, Caribbean culture, and finding belonging as a Black student at a predominantly white institution.

When we talk about college, we spend a lot of time discussing where to go, what to study, and what we hope to do after graduation. We don't always spend enough time talking about the people who will help us get through the experience.

Looking back at my years at the University of Tampa, I realize how much of what I loved about college came from finding my people. And some of those people entered my life in ways I never could have planned.


Starting Over When I Thought I Had Settled In

My sophomore year put me in an uncomfortable position. My best friend wasn't returning to the university. A friend from home had also decided not to come back.

I was returning to a familiar campus, but part of what had made it familiar was gone. I had to figure out where I fit all over again.

At a predominantly white institution, that search carried another layer. As a Black student, I wanted people around me who understood something about my experience without my having to explain every part of it. I didn't yet know where I would find them.

A Friendship Began With a Question

One day, I walked past a student who was on the balcony of his dorm. He was visibly upset after an argument, and I stopped to ask whether he was okay.

I didn't think I was doing anything extraordinary. But he later remembered that other people had walked past without checking on him. I had stopped and talked.

That conversation became the beginning of a friendship. Through him, I was introduced to other students who would eventually become my community.

He was Black, as I was, but he was also an international student. At the time, Black American students and Black international students at our university didn't always actively interact. Through that friendship, I entered a circle where I was often the only person from the United States.

I had no idea how much I was about to learn.


Familiarity Opened the Door to Something New

I grew up in Arkansas. I knew very little about places such as the Bahamas, Saint Croix, Martinique, or Curaçao. Through these friendships, those places began to mean something beyond names I had heard.

There were different foods, dialects, music, and dances. There was pride in where people came from, along with friendly debates and competition about their countries and cultures.

I began to understand that being Black didn't mean we had all grown up with the same experiences. There were connections between us, but there were also differences that made those friendships richer.

Every new food, every conversation, and every dance gave me something I hadn't brought with me from home. Finding people I connected with expanded my world in ways I hadn't expected.


They Became the People Who Showed Up

Those friendships became much more than an introduction to different cultures. These were the people who supported me in ROTC. They supported me when I pledged a fraternity. They showed up for the activities and experiences that mattered to me.

After class, I would go looking for them. Sometimes we were in the lobby of Plant Hall. Sometimes we gathered in a residence hall lobby, sharing food and talking about music and dancing. Sometimes we were around a table in the cafeteria.

The location wasn't important. Being together was.

We were taking classes, participating in organizations, and trying to figure out our futures. Having people alongside me made those everyday experiences a meaningful part of my life.

Finding Community While Staying Open

College brings you into contact with people from many backgrounds. Classes, activities, and organizations create opportunities to build relationships across those differences.

Within that larger experience, there is also value in having people who offer familiarity, understanding, and a sense of safety. For me, that mattered deeply as a Black student on a predominantly white campus.

The community I found gave me that connection while also introducing me to experiences far beyond my own. I could feel understood and still have a great deal to learn.

The Part of College I Didn't Know I Needed

I often say that, setting aside a very difficult first semester, the University of Tampa gave me some of the best years of my life. When I say that, I'm thinking about the people who helped make those years what they were.

My sophomore year began with the loss of familiar connections. A simple conversation helped lead me toward new ones, and those friendships shaped the richness of my college experience.

If you're in college now, give yourself opportunities to make those connections. Join an activity. Introduce yourself. Check on someone. Stay curious about people whose lives have been different from yours.

I didn't know that stopping to ask whether someone was okay would lead me to my people. Years later, I still recognize how much that moment gave me.

What helped you find your people in college—or in another unfamiliar chapter of your life? Share your experience in the comments.

Continue the story: In HBCU Dreams, PWI Reality, I reflect on identity, culture, and building community as a Black student at a predominantly white institution. Visit my bookstore to get your copy and explore the experiences behind the story.

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