Skip to main content

Can you really tell your parents what to do


 The Debate over who can tell who what to do

R.P.O.V. Counter point to “Telling your parents what to do”

 

Two problems tend to present themselves when you find yourself in the position of having to tell your parents what to do:

1)     They may only do the portions THEY want to do

2)     They don’t think YOU should be telling them anything

 

Therein lies the debate.

 

The first part lies in the difficulty in telling anyone what to do who have historically told you what to do.  If you grew up in a household where you were raised to respect your parents, having tell your parents to do anything can be a nightmare.    You are already conditioned to respect them so you may feel like telling them to do something is disrespectful.  In addition, they also feel that you are not in the position to tell them what to do since you are their child.  So, when faced with this reality, it becomes difficult.

 

The second part lies in how they view you.  Parents will always view their children through the lens of being a parent.  Even when the child is an expert in a particular field of endeavor, there may be, in some circumstances, a reluctances to truly accept everything your child says about a particular topic.  As such, this makes accepting what your child says more difficult not because you do not believe them but because you still view them as a child.

 

Other issues that arise is independence.   Your parents have been independent longer than you have been alive.  As such, they invariably will believe that they are the best person to make a decision about a specific situation even when they are not.  

 

But the hardest part is the fight the urge to NOT say something.  Sometimes, it takes strength to tell your loved one something they need to hear even though they are not going to want to hear it, simply because YOU said it.  That reality is magnified ten fold when you are dealing with your parents.  Your parents have been active fixture of your life for a long time and you know how they respond to things. Once you are in the position of telling your parents what they need to do, you already know how they are going to respond.   Unfortunately, the path of least resistance is simply to NOT say anything.  However, you know this is NOT good for them and not good for you.  So, unfortunately, the natural desire to NOT say anything may be the best choice for your own peace of mind.

 

The harsh reality is that reaching that point in your life where you are going to have to tell your parents what to do comes with some powerful facts.  And those facts are ones you must choose to accept or not accept.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why I’m Not Trying to Make New Friends After 40 (And Why That’s Okay)

Intro: We’ve all heard someone say, “I’m not trying to make new friends.” On the surface, it can sound antisocial or dismissive. But if you’re in your 40s or beyond, that phrase starts to carry a whole new weight. It’s not about shutting people out—it’s about recognizing the power of relationships that have been built over decades. Listen to the Full Podcast Below:  Listen to "Friends After 40: Why Your Circle Shrinks But Grows Deep" on Spreaker. Friends from the Beginning of Adulthood Friendships you start in your teens or early 20s come with a different energy. These are the people who were there during your first job, first apartment, first heartbreak, first real success. They were becoming adults alongside you. By the time you reach 40, something strange and powerful happens: You’ve now known those friends longer than you haven’t. That changes everything. Why Foundational Friendships Hit Different at 40+ Friendships at this stage aren’t casual. They’ve survive...

The Danger wasn’t always clear: Navigating Racism as Black Generation X

On July 16, 2025, I posted a video short titled “Black Generation X: The Danger Wasn’t Always Clear.” That post came from a deeply personal place. Growing up as part of Generation X meant stepping into environments where the rules around race and safety weren’t always obvious. When I was younger, my family shielded me from the harshest realities. I lived in communities where I was nurtured and protected. I was also part of the first wave of kids who went from kindergarten through high school entirely in desegregated schools. In that space, I don’t recall any overt instances of racism or bigotry. And while that was a blessing, it also left me unprepared—because I didn’t know what danger looked like when it wasn’t wearing a hood or shouting slurs. Once I left home, the uncertainty began. The Barber Who “Couldn’t” \When I arrived at the University of Tampa in the fall of 1987, I needed a haircut before starting ROTC training. I had just completed Army training that summer, so I was ...

Week in Review: Black Gen X in the Shadows and the Spotlight

  Week in Review: Black Gen X in the Shadows and the Spotlight IN THE KNOW with Tony Reeves This past week, I dedicated my daily Shorts to the voices, struggles, and overlooked truths of Black Generation X. We were the first generation to grow up after the Civil Rights Act, but we still faced the burden of racism, stereotypes, and cultural tension. Sometimes, the world said the danger was gone—but we could still feel it. Here’s what this week looked like: 📆 July 11 – When a White Student Said I Was Segregating Myself Reflecting on the tension between integration and identity. 📆 July 12 – No Signs. No Warnings. Just the Same Old Danger A powerful look at the hidden threats Black Gen X still faced. 📆 July 13 – Gen X: Bridging Analog to Digital A generation of transformation—before tech ruled the world. 📆 July 14 – Raised by the Past How the warnings of our parents shaped how we saw the world. 📆 July 15 – Are We Repeating History? Hard questions from a generati...