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How a Support System Helped Me Become an Alpha


Sometimes we don’t truly value our support systems until they come through for us when we least expect it. For me, this realization became clear during my journey to join Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc., an experience that profoundly shaped my understanding of friendship and community.

When I arrived at the University of Tampa in 1987, my dream of becoming an Alpha faced a significant hurdle: my campus didn’t have any Black Greek Letter Organizations. Yet, I remained determined. I soon learned that students from my school could pledge through the chapter at the University of South Florida (USF). I attended interest meetings in 1988 and 1989, showing my commitment, and eventually, I was invited to join the pledge process.

That’s when reality hit: pledging came with a significant financial cost. As a kid from rural Arkansas with limited resources, I didn’t know how I’d afford the expenses. Thankfully, I had an incredible group of friends who believed in me and supported my journey in unexpected ways.


Caesar: A Friend Like No Other

One of the first challenges was buying the required clothing and supplies: black slacks, dress shirts, gold socks, and more. I confided in my friend Caesar about my struggle. Without hesitation, he drove me downtown and insisted on buying everything I needed. Caesar, an Italian-American singer from upstate New York, used his parents’ emergency credit card to ensure I could start my journey without worry.

The Association of Minority Collegians: A Community Rallying for Me

Midway through the process, the financial strain continued. My mentor, Jennifer, who led our campus’s Association of Minority Collegians, organized a fundraiser on my behalf. They hosted a party and donated all the proceeds to help me cover my expenses. Seeing my community come together to support my dream was a moment I’ll never forget.


Kim and Lena: Teaming Up for the Scavenger Hunt

When a scavenger hunt required me to gather specific items, my friends Lena and Kim stepped up. Lena helped me track down what I needed, and Kim, who had a car, drove us all over town to find the items. What could have been a stressful, solitary task became a fun, team effort thanks to their generosity.

Jessica and Stacey: Guardians When It Mattered Most

During the final week of pledging, two of my Big Brothers decided to monitor me closely, staying overnight in my dorm. Jessica and Stacey, two friends who always had my back, ensured I wasn’t alone. Their presence not only lightened the mood but also prevented my Big Brothers from making my night


more challenging.

The Lesson of Unconditional Support

On the day I was finally initiated as a brother of Alpha Phi Alpha, I reflected on the journey and the incredible people who made it possible. Caesar, Jennifer, Lena, Kim, Jessica, Stacey, and the Association of Minority Collegians didn’t have to help me, yet they did so selflessly. They believed in my dream and provided the support I needed to make it a reality.

Their actions taught me a powerful lesson about the importance of community. It’s easy to focus on what we don’t have, but when we open ourselves to the kindness of others, we often find that we’re richer than we think.

Who has been your support system? Take a moment to thank them today.



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