So you find yourself in a difficult position where you have family members and friends who have expertise in a particular area who can help you.
You have one problem though.
You are actually afraid to ask for their help.
This may seem weird to some other people but you have convinced yourself that you don’t want to make your loved one feel as if you are taking advantage of their expertise or asking them to hook you up. This is a situation that happens a lot more common than you realize.
If you are in a situation when you have a loved one who has a professional expertise that could help you, it does not hurt to ask. The reality is, there are three responses you may expect to receive.
First, they won’t help you. The harsh reality is that depending on the person’s professional background they may have a long-standing personal philosophy where they don’t want to be in a position to have to help their family members or friends. They may be taking this course of action or taking this position because they may be worried that if something goes wrong that may damage the relationship they have with you. Or, it could be a situation where you’ve never asked for their help and they think it’s best that you keep that separation. Or you have asked for their help a lot and they just are at a point where they’ve decided they’re no longer going to help you.
Second, they can’t help you. Depending on the profession, there may be some ethical rules or guidelines or various male practice guidelines that prevents them from helping family members. Some people may feel that it’s in their best interest to not create a potential problem because of a family relationship or even a close friend relationship that may end up putting their professional livelihood in jeopardy. So in this particular instance, it’s not that they don’t want to help, it's that they can’t help.
Third and finally, they actually do help you. So many times when you find yourself in a position where you have convinced yourself that you’re a loved one won’t help you, you may find yourself being surprised if you actually asked for their help and they actually help you.
What’s more important is don’t hurt yourself by not asking for their help. It’s very easy to make a decision for someone else. Other words it’s easy for you to decide that they are not going to help you so you can just choose not to ask. But if they have an expertise that could help you, and they have a relationship with you, it doesn’t hurt to ask for their help.
The people you have in your life are going to evolve and that may mean acquiring skills that may at some point in the future be of use to you. As long as you know you’re not abusing it, and you respect their profession, it does not hurt to ask. You never know they may be able to help you and if they truly love you they’ll do so unconditionally.
To listen to me talk about how “How to ask your attorney friends for legal help”, tune in.
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