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The Put up or shut up conversation, part I: The OFFICE


 We have all had them.  Some of us have had them more than once.  Whether you call it the “Come to Jesus” conversation or the “Man Up or Woman Up” conversation, it’s the conversation that forces you to take action.   If we’re lucky, we only have it once.  Some of us, more than once.


One of mine came in August of 2007.  


I was at a difficult cross road.   I was working for a law firm.  I had been there for almost 6 years.  I truly enjoyed the working environment, the people and the culture. However, I was in the same position.  I wasn’t sure how close I was to being promoted. I was getting frustrated about my future.  I needed to vent.


So, after having a ‘heart to heart’ conversation with one of my fraternity brothers, Lynwood Bell, he suggested I speak to another Brother and fellow attorney, Brother Larry Hardaway, Esq.


Brother Hardaway is literally the definition of a ‘hometown hero’.  He grew up in Polk County, Florida.  Went to college and law school and then returned to Polk County.  He was a Public Defender for a number of years.  He then opened up his own law firm.  He had represented several high profile cases and was one of only a few black attorneys in Polk County to have their own law firm.  By the time I met him, he had been practicing law for almost 30 years.


So, when I sat down to meet him for lunch, I was ready.  Here is another attorney who would know what I was going through.  


After a few pleasantries, he asked me what was going on and like a water fountain, I let water gush out!  I started grumbling and complaining about my career, my frustrations, and my concerns. I quickly turned the interaction from a conversation into a full blown pity party.


Fortunately for me, Brother Hardaway wasn’t hearing any of that noise.  After a couple of minutes of me rambling without breathing, he stopped me and said “Ok, Brother.  Hold on.  I have an empty office space with it’s own phone line and you can share my receptionist and one of my secretaries.  I won’t charge you anything so you can start your own law firm.”


Wait??


What??


What are you talking about?


This isn’t a gripe session?


You are giving me options??


Start what?


Do who??


In one paragraph, Brother Hardaway had literally disarmed me.  He gave me absolutely no reason to continue complaining.   If I wanted another option for the future, he had just given me the opportunity to control my own future.   I was floored.


I knew this was a golden opportunity.  What I didn’t know, at the time, was 20+ years earlier, he was in the exact same situation and another fraternity brother and attorney did the exact thing for him.  So, Brother Hardaway was paying it forward.


He followed up his statement with the following “You want to make a change.  I am giving you a chance to make one.  It’s up to you if you want it.”


And after a few weeks of contemplation (along with my wife telling me, ‘You said you were thinking about opening a law firm.  Well, stop thinking and do it.’), I gave my two weeks notice.  And on October 1, 2007, the Reeves Law Firm was open for business.


We all will have points in our life where we need someone to force us to take the next step in our personal evolution.  The conversations are not nice but they are not supposed to be nice.  If you are lucky, these conversations will put you on the path to where you are supposed to be.

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