Breaking out of your shell

In the summer of 1989 (the summer after I pledged Alpha Phi Alpha), I returned home to Pine Bluff, Arkansas. During my youth, every 4th of July, my Grandparents would host a Bar B Q at their home. During that time, my cousin (and my sister from another Mister as well as AKA soror and one of the coolest persons I know), Latitia, noticed a distinct difference in my personality. I had always been loud but this summer, I was displaying a greater degree of confidence. To my surprise, she said to me:

“I can see that pledging Alpha was good for you. You are starting to break out of your shell.”

At first, I didn’t know what she was talking about but as I thought about it, she was right.

As much as I pride myself in being loud and country, I was very insecure (even though I did a pretty good job of hiding it).

However, pledging Alpha at a different university put me in a very different place. It forced me to interact with brothers I did not know at a university I was not familiar with. The best part of the experience was the brothers allowed me to comfortably be able to display something I was good at: Dancing and stepping. Those activities came naturally to me but my desire to do them in public was low. Fortunately, I had brothers who not only encouraged me to be me but gave me the confidence to create original ideas. As fate would have it, I would go on to create multiple shows and step routines.

And this Alpha experience would not just stop there. This experience would be the first of many experiences where my brothers would not only encourage me to step outside of my comfort zone but also push me into doing more.

The reality is most of us will stay within the comfortable confines of our capabilities unless someone pushes us, encourages us, or propels us outside of these confines. If any of you have found that place where you have people who will not let you limit your abilities, consider yourself luck.

I broke out of my shell because I had people around me who refused to let me stay in it.

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