The moment you become a mentor

I never viewed myself as a mentor. I have a notorious habit of keeping information as well as my network of friends and colleagues to myself. I don’t do this because I am being selfish. I do this because I have never really believed that I have done anything that warranted any insight. As such, I have this notorious habit of believing that there is nothing I can contribute because, in my mind, I don’t believe I have done anything special.

However, a few years ago, I started having these weird conversations. I would get these ‘can I pick your brain’ phone calls. They almost always started the same way. I would get a text, an instant message or an e-mail asking me if they could run something by me. In my mind, I’m thinking “Don’t know why you are asking me but ok”. And then almost EVERY phone call would start off with “I know you’re really busy, thank you for taking the time to talk to me”. Again, I’m thinking “Dude. I’m just Reeves. A plain ole simple country boy.”. Invariably, the conversation would last, at least, an hour. I like to listen first to get an idea of how I can contribute. Then, after listening to their uninterrupted speech, I then spend an equal amount of time expounding on what they were saying. At the end of conversation, I always end with “if you want to talk or bounce something off of me, let me know”. For some odd reason, this response is met with a measure of surprise.

Early on, I would have this conversation about once or twice every few months. However, in recent years, I have had this conversation about once a month. And each time, I find myself curiously confused as to why I am having these conversations.

It wasn’t until I had a recent conversation with one of my best friends who had to remind me that, whether I believed it or not, I was a ‘high value person’ and that people want to access persons of value.

I can tell you. I never viewed myself as a ‘high value person’. I still believe I am trying to access people of value myself. However, what I have come to accept is the reality that I am a mentor to some and the reason I spend so much time talking to those who seek my feedback is that I treat that reality seriously.

Regardless of what happens tomorrow, I’m glad I am able to give meaningful feedback today. I am not sure what the definition of a ‘mentor’ is but I am hopeful that I am doing my part to be a good one.

Comments

Why I’m Not Trying to Make New Friends After 40 (And Why That’s Okay)

Intro: We’ve all heard someone say, “I’m not trying to make new friends.” On the surface, it can sound antisocial or dismissive. But if you’re in your 40s or beyond, that phrase starts to carry a whole new weight. It’s not about shutting people out—it’s about recognizing the power of relationships that have been built over decades. Listen to the Full Podcast Below: Listen to "Friends After 40: Why Your Circle Shrinks But Grows Deep" on Spreaker. Friends from the Beginning of Adulthood Friendships you start in your teens or early 20s come with a different energy. These are the people who were there during your first job, first apartment, first heartbreak, first real success. They were becoming adults alongside you. By the time you reach 40, something strange and powerful happens: You’ve now known those friends longer than you haven’t. That changes everything. Why Foundational Friendships Hit Different at 40+ Friendships at this stage aren’t casual. They’ve survive...

The Danger wasn’t always clear: Navigating Racism as Black Generation X

On July 16, 2025, I posted a video short titled “Black Generation X: The Danger Wasn’t Always Clear.” That post came from a deeply personal place. Growing up as part of Generation X meant stepping into environments where the rules around race and safety weren’t always obvious. When I was younger, my family shielded me from the harshest realities. I lived in communities where I was nurtured and protected. I was also part of the first wave of kids who went from kindergarten through high school entirely in desegregated schools. In that space, I don’t recall any overt instances of racism or bigotry. And while that was a blessing, it also left me unprepared—because I didn’t know what danger looked like when it wasn’t wearing a hood or shouting slurs. Once I left home, the uncertainty began. The Barber Who “Couldn’t” \When I arrived at the University of Tampa in the fall of 1987, I needed a haircut before starting ROTC training. I had just completed Army training that summer, so I was ...

Week in Review: Black Gen X in the Shadows and the Spotlight

Week in Review: Black Gen X in the Shadows and the Spotlight IN THE KNOW with Tony Reeves This past week, I dedicated my daily Shorts to the voices, struggles, and overlooked truths of Black Generation X. We were the first generation to grow up after the Civil Rights Act, but we still faced the burden of racism, stereotypes, and cultural tension. Sometimes, the world said the danger was gone—but we could still feel it. Here’s what this week looked like: 📆 July 11 – When a White Student Said I Was Segregating Myself Reflecting on the tension between integration and identity. 📆 July 12 – No Signs. No Warnings. Just the Same Old Danger A powerful look at the hidden threats Black Gen X still faced. 📆 July 13 – Gen X: Bridging Analog to Digital A generation of transformation—before tech ruled the world. 📆 July 14 – Raised by the Past How the warnings of our parents shaped how we saw the world. 📆 July 15 – Are We Repeating History? Hard questions from a generati...

The Anthony Reeves Experience

Search This Blog