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Finding a place of NO FEAR

 


How many of us can remember a time of success when we were in a place of NO FEAR?


I can and still stays with me today.


Ever since law school (since 1999), I have trained with one teacher:  Master Anne Radke.   I have shared countless stories about her but this one particular story truly embodies a moment of ‘NO FEAR’.


In March 2001, we traveled to a tournament in Gainesville, Fla. (Gainesville Challenge).  In that tournament, I was scheduled to fight in the Men’s Black Belt Heavy Weight division.  Up to that point, I had competed in quite a few tournaments with varying degrees of success.   Unfortunately, one of my problems was that I would always be anxious and nervous.  I had a million thoughts running through my head.  And as a result, I would always be fearful of the outcome.  



Master Radke had a strict rule requiring her fighters to warm up with our dojo brothers and sisters before we got in the ring.   However, on this day, she did something SPECTACULARLY RARE.  She told everyone that no one would warm me up but her.


At this point, I had never sparred with Master Radke.  I had never seen her spar.  I knew she did whenever she trained with our Grandmaster, Grandmaster Baker.  However, their training sessions were private so I didn’t know what to expect.  


Now, to give some context.  I’m about 5’11” and Master Radke is about 5’4”.  And I was somewhat proud of the fact that I was quick and was pretty good with kicks.   So, I thought I could, at least, hold my own for a few minutes.


WRONG!


When we sparred with each other, she literally sucked the life out of me.  I had never seen speed like that and foot work like that before.  For the 5 minutes she warmed me up, ALL of my senses were at a heightened level of alert.  She was moving effortlessly and my brain could not comprehend the movements she was making.   It was TERRIFYINGLY AWESOME!


So, when I got called to go compete, something weird happened. I had NO FEAR.  My mind was completely empty.  I had told myself that there was NO WAY anyone could do what I just experienced so I had NOTHING to fear.  


And to my surprise, I didn’t lose any match in my division.  ;As a matter of fact, no one scored a point.   After winning my Division, I had to fight two matches in order to win Grand champion.  The first match, I won 2 to 1.  Unfortunately, I was so GOOFY over getting to the Grand championship round that I stopped doing everything I was doing before.   I wasn’t afraid.  I was just happy to be somewhere I had not expected.


I had successes after this tournament.  Three years later, I would become a Co-Grand Champion in a bigger tournament.   However, there was never another moment of pure bliss I would experience.  I had never known that type of feeling.   It wasn’t a place of anxiety.  It wasn’t a place of confidence.  It wasn’t a place of cockiness.  


It was a place of trust in my abilities.  It was a place of faith in my teachings.  It was a place of realizing that I had the ability to control the outcome.


It was a Place of NO FEAR.

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