Reeves Point of View: What does an ALLY in the struggle against Racism look like? (The trampoline story)

 I have shared the story with many people about the time I was asked to leave the yard of someone’s house  because I was black.  I was the only black child playing on the trampoline and not only was I asked to get off the trampoline (by the kid’s grandfather) but I was asked to leave the yard.  

Fortunately, one of my friend’s mother (a white lady) saw me walking away and wondered where the other children were.  When I told her that I was asked to leave, she promptly came down and got all of the rest of the kids.  And, I still remember her saying “If Tony can’t play here, then none of them can.”.   Interestingly, according to my recollection, the kid’s mother came down and apologized for the incident and said I could come down.  At that point, I don’t remember what my friend’s mother said but we effectively didn’t go back down to play (at least, I didn’t and I don’t recall if any of my friends did later).

The powerful point of this story is not the fact that adult asked a child to leave the property because of his skin.   

The powerful point was that my friend’s mother recognized the situation for what it was and took action.  She didn’t sit me down and have a heart to heart discussion about racism.  She didn’t tell my mother  that she put on her cape to rescue me.   She did what ANY self respecting mother would do.  A child was hurting.  A child was harmed.  A child was being targeted for his color.  And as a mother, she would NOT let that happen on her watch.   She didn’t call the grandfather a bigot or a racist.   She didn’t put the focus on the grandfather.  On this day, the focus was on the CHILDREN.  On this day, the focus was on me.

By pulling ALL of the kids out of the backyard, she was sending a message to all of the kids that I was the same as them and she was making a point of showing that I would not be treated differently.  By pulling ALL of the kids there was a fairly good chance we would ALL go back and tell our parents what happened.  By pulling ALL of the kids, she sent a message to the kid’s family that your home is not a welcome space if it can’t welcome everyone.

Again, let me stress (as I recall it), the kid who had the trampoline did nothing wrong.  He was falling his grandfather’s instructions.  Again, let me stress (as I recall it), the kid’s mother tried to fix the issue that the grandfather created.   

Again, this was not about them.

On this day, it was about a black male child being told he could not play with the same white children he had been playing with every day because someone decided his color was unacceptable.

On this day, it was about standing up for this child and sending a message to the kids and the family what would and would NOT be tolerated in this community.

On this day, it was about being an Ally for a child who didn’t realize he needed an Ally.   

I didn’t know exactly what was she was doing.  

But, SHE knew exactly what she was doing.

#race #racism #discrimination #bigotry